Friday, June 15, 2012

31 Things :: Story 24 - Relationship



I’m a daughter. I’m a sister. I’m a friend. I’m a neighbor. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. I’m a child of God.
I have many relationships in my life. On the one hand I’m blessed. Oh so blessed to have all of these people to love and support me. But on the other hand, it is a lot of work to love and nurture all of these relationships. All of these people mean SO MUCH to me, and it can get overwhelming at times to think about whether I’m doing everything I can to serve them.

My mom was my first best friend. I was and still am her baby, and a spoiled brat because of it. Navigating our changing relationship as we grow older is tricky. After my dad passed away, she’s been working through grief and trying to find herself again. It’s been rough. Roles are reversing, and she seeks my advice and friendship often. I sometimes have a hard time balancing being her baby and being her friend.
My siblings and I have a great relationship. We love and respect each other, and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and adjust accordingly. Growing up I didn’t have a close relationship with my sister, Kari, who is six years older than me. She was my big sister, and we were far enough apart in age to never have similar interests. That’s all changed now, and we’re very close friends. It makes me happy.

Friendships are important to me, and I’ve always surrounded myself with close friends. My best friend from when I was a kid, my best friend from high school, and my best friends from college. Most live in the area, but I don’t see them nearly enough. I really struggle with this because there doesn’t seem to be enough time to nurture these friendships. We get together for special occasions and holidays, but otherwise too much time passes without really connecting. A big part of me wishes this was a priority for me because I miss the friendships.
But I’m now married with a child and own a home in a suburban neighborhood. I count myself lucky to have such awesome neighbors. A few of which I call my friends. Part of me wishes I could nurture these relationships and find closer friends, but something is holding me back. I’m blaming it on time but I’m not sure if this is the real reason or not.

Without a doubt my best friend today is my husband, Jeff. I can share anything with him without judgment, and he’s gotten to be a pretty good listener and doesn’t always try to “fix” things for me. He is my rock, my strength, and my comfort. We can use more alone time in this busy world. But we often find ourselves many nights laying next to one another in the dark talking until the wee hours of the night.
I won’t hide the fact that I love being a mom. Sean is the most amazing kid ever. I know we prayed a long time for him, and clearly God was working his magic. It’s the hardest relationship for me to manage and nurture. But man, it’s worth it.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my relationship with God. It’s one I think about and work towards every day. This wasn’t always the case, and some days still I fail miserably. But I’m working on it. I talk to Him throughout my day, and pray that my heart and my eyes are open to listen to His reply. I figure if I can get this relationship right, all the others will fall into place.

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